31 Days of Horror # 21 Rosemary’s Baby (1968, dir. Roman Polanski)

Upfront disclaimer: It’s hard to talk about this film without talking about the director, Roman Polanski. In 1977 he was arrested and charged with the drugging and rape of a thirteen year old girl. Polanski has never faced any kind of punishment, and has been defended many times for his actions.

This brings up the dilemma of separating the art from the artist, which is particularly difficult with a film that’s as good as Rosemary’s Baby. As paraphrased from horror movie podcast Evolution of Horror, a film is not just the work of the director, but of all the people involved in bringing it to the screen.

However, I understand if you want to skip this one, and I’ll see you on day 22.

Now on with the review.

‘This is no dream! This is really happening!’

Young bride Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow) is apartment hunting with her actor husband Guy (John Cassavetes). They find the seemingly perfect place, a recently vacated flat in Manhattan’s rather gloomy and imposing Bramford Building.

But why is there a large dresser blocking a closet door? Why are their elderly neighbours Roman and Minnie Castevet (Sidney Blackmer and Ruth Gordon) so keen to be involved with their lives? Why did Terry, the Castevet's young female lodger fall from the window of their seventh floor apartment? What does Rosemary’s old landlord and friend Hutch discover about the Castevets that puts his life on danger?

Rosemary’s Baby is a terrifying study in coercion, control and abuse of power and it’s here (PLOT SPOILER ALERT) I want to go off on a tangent to say just how much I fucking hate Guy. He’s a selfish, egotistical, controlling, gas-lighting rapist. He won’t let see Rosemary see the doctor she wants to – he has the job and the money and she doesn’t – he controls what she reads, who she talks to, what she eats. He calls her friends ‘stupid bitches’ and oh, yeah, he sells his wife’s body and their unborn child to a Satanic cult in a deal to to further his acting career. Guy fucking sucks.

It’s Guy that makes Rosemary’s Baby truly frightening, even though he’s even more of a pathetic, needy, whinge bag than Mark from day 1’s watch Possession, a film which explores many of the same themes.

It could be theorised that Guy is manipulated by the Castevets as much as Rosemary is, but he seems pretty willing to be an active member of the cult in order to get what he wants – even if it’s as the expense of someone he’s supposed to love. Let’s not forget he also actively participates in the machinations that result in his rival going blind, and destroying his career. Props to John Cassavetes for making me hate Guy so much.

Content warning: rape, suicide (more suicide...jeez) domestic abuse, hairy faced devil baby.

Final thoughts: Fuck you Guy, you fucking fuck.

31 days of Horror # 20 Wolf Creek (2005, dir. Greg McLean)

 ‘She was good for months, until she lost her head!’

Inspired by the real-life cases of Ivan ‘Backpacker Murderer’ Millat and the 2001 disappearance of British tourist Peter Falconio, Wolf Creek is a 2005 Australian horror film that will put you off an outback holiday forever.

Ben (Nathan Phillips) Liz (Cassandra Magrath) and Kristie (Kestie Morassi) are three tourists on a road-trip to see Wolfe Creek Crater. Setting off the morning after a party with the kind of hangover that has you saying ‘I’m never drinking again’, the friends are disappointed by the gloomy, overcast day and bored by the long drive. The trip appears worth it, though, and Ben and Liz share a sneaky kiss when Kristie pops off for a al fresco shit.

There’s no-one else around, and when Ben’s fifth-hand rusty heap-of-shit car won’t start, they are very grateful that local Mick Taylor (John Jarratt) appears and offers to tow them to his place and do the repairs needed to get them back on the road.

At first Mick appears friendly, though a tad...off. He makes ribald comments and sexist, racist and homophobic jokes. Despite their apprehension the three friends try and dismiss this as Mick being an old-school rough and ready mucker type; a little creepy but ultimately harmless. Stranded hours from anywhere, they need his help and so accept his offer.

Mick of course, is a sadistic serial killer with a taste for rape and torture, and this ain’t his first rodeo. He takes them to what is possibly just one of his kill sites, a desolate and dirty assortment of make-shift buildings littered with the cars and belongings of his previous victims.

It’s not just Mick Taylor that makes this film scary. John Jarratt is great, playing Mick as the kind of person we’ve probably all met in real life. Not a serial killer, of course, but the kind of person whose 0-60 unpredictability leaves you unsure as to exactly how to behave around them.

The deeper fear lies in the vast remoteness of the Australian outback, the seemingly endless roads snaking through miles of barren, scrubby land and the stark, leafless trees. Even if you did escape Mick, where would you go? He knows this place much better than you do, and there’s nowhere to hide. If he doesn't get you, the wilderness will.

Content warning: all bets are off after the first 30 minutes.

Final thoughts: stay at home. 

31 days of Horror # 19 Stir of Echoes (1999, dir. David Koepp)

‘Does it hurt to be dead?’

Based on Richard Matheson’s (Hell House, I Am Legend) 1958 novel, this supernatural, very chilly thriller was sadly overshadowed by The Sixth Sense which was released in the same year. Both films feature a spooky little kid with who seems to know things others don’t, but that’s where the similarities end.

After Tom (Kevin Bacon, sizzling with a wiry hotness I did not appreciate at the time this film came out...21 year old me evidentially had no taste) is hynotised by his sister-in-law Lisa (Illeana Douglas), he starts having frightening visions and develops an addiction to cold orange juice. His son Jake (Zachary David Cope) tells him not to be afraid - like Cole Sear, Jake has a connection to those that have passed on into whatever is beyond the mortal world.

As Tom tries to decipher the meaning of his increasingly frightening visions and sudden ability to ‘know things’, he becomes convinced they are connected to a local missing teenage girl, Samantha (Jennifer Morrison).

His wife Maggie (Kathryn Erbe) is also on her own mission to find out exactly what’s going on with her husband and why he’s started doing things like digging up their back garden.

I love this film. It's autumnal colour palette, the dynamic between Tom and Maggie, how the story unfolds.  My favourite scene comes very early on, and it’s when Lisa hypnotises Tom. As he sinks deeper into the hypnosis, his chair floats above the seats of a cinema and towards the flickering screen. It’s such a striking image. 

It’s an underrated gem; eerie, compelling, sad, funny and at times, spine-chilling. The pacing is great, the compact run-time packs a lot in but keeps the plotting neat and tidy.

Content warning: sexual assault, teeth falling out, suicide (again! These movies love a suicide attempt).

Final thoughts: Kevin Bacon almost nudges Sam Neill off the Scream King top spot in this one.

31 Days of Horror # 18 The Wicker Man (1973, dir. Robin Hardy)

 ‘That’s my costume, the salmon of knowledge!’

In this OG folk horror classic, pious and tenacious police officer Neil Howie (Edward Woodward) arrives on a remote Scottish island, Summerisle, to investigate the disappearance of teenage girl Rowan Morrison.

The locals aren’t exactly helpful though. Half of them deny all knowledge of Rowan’s existence and half of them say she’s dead. Even Rowan’s ‘mother’ isn’t talking and seems very unbothered about the whereabouts of her daughter.

Howie’s investigations lead him to Daddy of the island, Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee) and he begins to suspect that Rowan was sacrificed in a pagan ritual by the islanders to ensure a bountiful harvest that year.

When Howie attempts to leave the island, the true intentions of the islanders are revealed in what is possibly horror cinema’s most shocking twist ending.

Content warning: Boobs. Lots of boobs. Pub garden orgies, animal cruelty, Christopher Lee cos-playing Cher. Oh, and the ending. It’s hide-behind-the-cushion scary.

Final verdict: virgins don’t always make it to the end of a horror film.

31 days of Horror # 17 Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978, Phillip Kaufman)

‘You’re evolving into a new life form.’

Parasitic plant spores make their way to earth to seed and grow into sweet little pink flowers.

Elizabeth (Brooke Adams), a laboratory scientist at the San Francisco Health Department, brings one of the flowers home, and shows it to her boyfriend, Geoffrey. The next morning Geoffrey seems...different. Worried, Elizabeth confides in her health inspector colleague, Matthew (Donald Sutherland).

Elizabeth sounds a tad paranoid - she’s convinced that Geoffrey, who’s off doing weird things with weird people, has been replaced with someone that looks just like him - so Matthew suggests that she speaks to his psychiatrist friend, Dr. Kibner (Leonard Nimoy).

They meet Kibner at the launch party of his latest book, who just says that men be menning and that Geoffrey’s issue is that he’s commitment phobic.

At the same party we meeting aspiring writer and spa owner Jack (Jeff Goldblum) and later his wife Nancy (Veronica Cartwright). Elizabeth, Matthew, Jack and Nancy form our Final Girl Four (spoiler...there’s only one final girl…) who work out what’s really going on and try and stop it.

Though this is a remake of the 1956 adaptation of Jack Finney’s 1954 science-fiction novel The Body Snatchers, and there have been subsequent versions, it remains the most iconic and enduring iteration.

The ending is one of the most famous in horror cinema and you’ll certainly have seen it, even if you don’t know where it’s from.

It’s in turns dystopian, depressing, bleak and very, very icky.

Content warning: goo, plant fannies.

Final Verdict: don't stop to smell the flowers.

31 Days of Horror # 16 Paperhouse (1988, Bernard Rose)

 'Is this snogging?’

On her 11^th birthday, Anna Madden (Charlotte Burke) comes down with glandular fever (do kids get glanular fever anymore? It feels like that was quite an 80’s illness). Dr. Nichols (the always wonderful Gemma Jones, who you’ll probably know best as playing Bridget Jones’ mum), tells Anna that she must rest or she risks prolonging her illness.

In Anna’s febrile dreams, a house she drew in her waking life becomes real. She draws a sad boy, Marc, (Elliott Spiers) in one of the windows, and he becomes real, too, except she hasn’t drawn him any legs so he can’t walk. She only drew his sad face, neck and shoulders, but for some reason he has a body but legs that don’t work? The logic in the film doesn’t logic, but I guess because most of it is set in Anna’s dreams, it doesn’t matter.

It turns out that Marc is a real-life boy, who has muscular dystrophy, which explains the reason he can’t walk. Anna and Marc are both patients of Dr. Nichols. I assume Dr. Nichols breaks the old patient confidentiality thing for purposes of the plot. Marc and Anna continue to meet in the paper house and they form a friendship, though Marc tells Anna it’s not safe for her there.

Anna’s mother Kate (Glenne Headly) is a bit of a classic 80’s mother. She’s very dismissive of Anna’s worries and dries her wet hair like she’s trying to pull her head off. She’s also inconsistent, distracted and contrary.

Anna’s dad, (Ben Cross) who doesn’t even get a name, he’s just ‘Dad’ an absent recovering alcoholic features in the house as a nightmarish spectre, though real-life dad is a bit emotionally disconnected and says stupid things like, ‘don’t get sunstoke!’ when he opens the curtains.

Paperhouse is a very weird film, and it sort of sisters with films like Return to Oz and The Neverending Story. Had I watched it as a kid back in the 80s, I would probably have it listed as an all-time favourite. It’s Penny Crayon on Night Nurse. Watching it for the first time in 2025, I struggle to see why it’s such a highly rated favourite with both audiences and critics.

That said, there is some good stuff here; the dream version of the house that Anna draws looks exactly like something a child would come up with. The dream sequences really do feel like being in a dream, with the same weird it makes sense at the time logic. There are some genuinely creepy moments and frightening jump scares.

The developing romance between Anna and Marc is very sweet, and reminded me of the innocent crushes I had on boys in school.

The bad? The carelessness of Anna’s parents really irritated me, but I think they were written like that so that you are provided context for Anna’s social isolation (she does have friends, but she doesn’t seem especially bond with people until she meets Marc).

The performances are very earnest, but I could see the acting (I’m not including the kids here, as that’s not very fair).

Have you seen Paperhouse? What did you think?

Content warning: bad daddy

Final verdict: Anna, you in danger girl.

31 Days of Horror # 15 Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986, dir. John McNaughton)

‘My momma was a whore.’

Released after serving his time for murdering his mother, Henry (Michael Rooker) moves into penitentiary pal Otis’ (Tom Towles) grim Chicago apartment. When Henry’s not working as a pest controller, he’s stalking random women and murdering them. Henry murders anyone he feels like murdering; women, children, TV salesmen, whole families.

Otis’ sister Becky (Tracy Arnold) who is escaping her violent ex-husband moves in with the pair and develops a crush on Henry which isn’t really reciprocated because, well, Henry’s jam isn’t normal relationships.

Very loosely based on real-life serial killers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole, Henry is relentlessly bleak, disturbing and very, very depressing. It’s super low budget, grimy aesthetic and naturalistic acting style make it feel like you’re watching a really twisted home movie.

As quoted from the reference book 1001 Movies to See Before You Die: "Henry evokes horror through gritty realism and excellent acting. The film is not fun to watch, but it is important in that it forces viewers into questioning our cultural fascination with serial killers.”

‘Fun’ fact: Michael Rooker remained in character for the duration of the shoot. His wife discovered she was pregnant and waited until filming had wrapped to tell him.

Content warning: rape, extreme and very realistic violence, necrophilia, the kid dies too. 

Final verdict: No man ever needs help getting something in the back of a van.

31 Days of Horror # 14 - Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962, dir. Robert Aldrich)

 ‘You mean all this time, we could have been friends?’

Former child star 'Baby' Jane Hudson (Bette Davis) lives with her sister Blanche (Joan Crawford) in a dilapidated Hollywood mansion. As she grows older, ‘Baby Jane’ falls out of favour with audiences, but Blanche becomes an acclaimed movie star. However a car accident, blamed on Jane, prematurely ends Blanche’s career.

When A TV run of Blanche’s old movies revives the public’s interest and admiration, Jane is overcome with jealously. Determined to reignite her own fame, she hires on-the-make pianist Edwin Flagg (Victor Buono) to accompany the songs penned by her long-dead father that she used to perform as a child.

Jane begins a campaign of cruelty against Blanche, cutting her off from friends, trapping her in her bedroom and tormenting her in a series of increasingly vile ways. Maid Elvira’s (Maidie Norman) efforts to rescue Blanche from Jane’s clutches have tragic consequences.

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? is almost always overshadowed by the notorious feud between the two leads, who apparently hated each other – when Joan Crawford died, Bette Davis said, "You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good... Joan Crawford is dead. Good.’

It’s this animosity between the two that makes for such explosive on-screen chemistry. Both performances are masterpieces in conveying the complexity of a co-dependent, toxic relationship. While Davis certainly looks like she’s having the time of her life playing a spiraling, booze-soaked Jane, Crawford brings a steely, determined vulnerability to Blanche that has you rooting for her.

It’s a classic for a reason; an unwholesome gothic horror about the perils of child stardom and the ruthlessness of the Hollywood machine. It’s also really, really funny.

Content warning: some ‘of its time’ language, dead pets, domestic violence.

Final verdict: sisters are doing it for themselves.

31 days of Horror # 13 Men (2022, dir. Alex Garland)

 ‘I have decided that you are an expert in carnality.’

Harper (Jessie Buckley) takes a holiday to a fancy manor house in a quiet little village following the death of her abusive husband James (Paapa Essiedu). Owner Geoffrey (Rory Kinnear - who reminded me a bit of Fred West, if Fred West had grown up in generational wealth and went to boarding school and enjoyed fox-hunting), is there to welcome Harper and show her around.

Harper spends her first few days walking in the woods and face-timing her friend Riley, (Gayle Rankin) but a series of encounters with men who all look remarkably similar to Geoffrey  threaten to spoil her peaceful getaway. Well-intentioned or not, all of them give Harper the heebie-jeebies.

Rory Kinnear does a great job of playing all the different iterations of the same man, managing to make them both distinctly different and eerily similar very effectively; the sexually repressed vicar made my skin crawl and I felt a little sorry for posh-boy Geoffrey who at one point exclaims, ‘you have all the qualities of a failed military man. My father said that to me once. I was seven,’

Jessie Buckley is also great as conflicted Harper; who is battling with her guilt over James’ death while trying to accept that it wasn’t her fault.

Gayle Rankin provides the comedic relief even though we only see her via Harper’s phone screen and for about thirty seconds at the end (and then you’re kind of glad she’s rocked up). Paapa Essiedu gets total screentime of around ten minutes but still manages to make me absolutely hate James.

This is a beautifully shot, lush film with a dreamlike quality - things make the most perfect, logical sense even when they shouldn’t. The themes of the nature of trauma, rebirth, spring and the patterns we are doomed to repeat are fairly obvious, so there’s not much that’s new here in that regard. That said, it’s still a compelling watch, particularly if you’re a fan of fairytales and folk horror.

Content warning: suicide (there isn’t a running theme here, I promise) extreme body horror (the final fifteen-odd minutes are not for the faint of heart) domestic violence, decay, nudity.

Final verdict: She’s gone on holiday by mistake.

31 Days of Horror # 12 - 1408 (2007, Mikael Håfström)

 ‘It’s an evil fucking room.’

Based on a Stephen King short story, 1408 is about Mike Enslin (John Cusack), a writer who is determined to the spend the night in the Dolphin Hotel’s most haunted room. Manager Gerald Olin (Samuel L Jackson) does his best to talk him out of it, telling Mike that no-one has ever lasted longer than an hour in the room. Like LA’s real-life Cecil Hotel, the Dolphin has a long history of gruesome deaths and dodgy guests. Fifty-six people have died in room 1408 since the hotel was built 95 years ago.

But Mike ain’t afraid of no ghost. He doesn’t actually even believe in ghosts - his career is built on writing books debunking hauntings in hotel, motels and holiday inns across America.

In a parallel with the Event Horizon, room 1408 presents its guests with their own personal hell. Things start off innocuously enough; the toilet roll neatly refolds itself, the bed smooths its own rumpled blanket, the heating has a life of its own, the radio turns on, always playing The Carpenters song We’ve Only Just Begun, the alarm clock goes on a sixty-minute countdown. Mike thinks that Mr Olin is setting this up and is watching the action through a camera hidden in the ceiling vent. Later on, Mike starts to think that the expensive whiskey Olin attempted to bribe him with has been spiked.

But then things get really weird, and as things start to escalate, Mike is drawn into a never-ending nightmare that he can’t wake up from.

There are apparently three different endings to 1408. I watched the director’s cut, which has a much bleaker wrap-up to the theatrical cut and the third alternate ending. Think the final few minutes of The Mist, which is also based on a Stephen King short story, and you’ll get the idea.

Content warning: suicide. A lot of suicide.

Final verdict: You can check out, but you can never leave.

You can stream 1408 on Amazon Prime, Google Play, Apple TV and the Sky Store.

31 Days of Horror # 11 - The House of the Devil (2009, Ti West)

‘Are you not the babysitter?’

College student Samantha (Joceline Donahue) needs to move out of her dorm. Her roommate is driving her insane; she’s selfish, messy and lazy. Sam quickly finds the perfect place, with lovely Landlady (she doesn’t have a name, but she’s played by Scream Queen Dee Wallace) letting her skip on the deposit and just pay a month’s rent in advance. However, Sam’s still worried about how she’ll pay the rent and is desperate for a job.

As luck would have it, she finds an ad for a babysitter. When the father, Mr. Ulman (Tom Noonan), fails to turn up for the interview, a disheartened Sam meets her friend Megan (Greta Gerwig) for a pizza. Megan jokes that they should steal all the remaining ads so that no-one else calls and Mr. Ulman (wait...Mr. Ulman...like, The Shining Mr. Ulman?) is forced to hire Sam.

And that’s exactly what happens. Megan steals all the ads, but Mr. Ulman has already called Sam’s dorm-room while she’s out to apologise for standing her up and to offer her the job.

Megan drives her to the Ulman’s house, but gets weirded out when Ulman explains that they don’t actually have a kid and they need Sam to look after his elderly mother. It’s only after Sam negotiates a  $400 pay that she agrees to stay. 

It’s not long before Sam gets weirded out being in the house on her own, and for good reason. Though nothing much happens until the final third of the film, when it does kick off it kicks off big style.

This isn’t just a homage to the 80s slasher, it’s a love letter. Ti West captures the style of the era perfectly. The dialogue, the wardrobe, the grainy cinematography, the performances, absolutely everything makes this feel like it was made forty years ago. Jocelin Donahue looks like the perfect 70’s / 80’s final girl. 

Content warning: demons, brains, WHY ARE YOU RUNNING UP THE STAIRS.

Final verdict: Mischief! Mischief! Mischief! (see Inside No.9, series 1, episode 6, The Harrowing. It makes an excellent companion piece).

You can stream The House of the Devil on Tubi and Amazon Prime

31 Days of Horror # 10 - When Evil Lurks (2023, Demián Rugna)

‘I took the evil to her.’

Brothers Pedro (Ezequiel Rodriquez) and Jimi (Demián Salomon) hear distant gunshots late at night outside their remote farmhouse. In the morning when they go to investigate, they find the mutilated corpse of a man in the nearby woods. A notebook leads them to Maria's house, a woman that has hired a 'cleaner', a professional exorcist of sorts, to kill her demon-impregnated brother (a 'rotten') Uriel. 

Uriel must be killed before he gives birth and lets the demon free to possess others. Pedro and Jimi set out to dispatch Uriel before he can disgorge his satanic off-spring, but they’re both so hopelessly inept, things go horribly, horribly wrong. There’s no final girls here, just two dumb-as-fuck men who think nothing through properly and act entirely on impulse and way-off-the-mark instinct.

This film is really, really gross. It’s actually disgusting. Uriel is a huge, bloated piss-stained grey mass covered in intestine-like growths. He leaks fluid all over the place. There’s no cutaway from the violence, even when a dog attacks a small child and drags her around like she’s a chew toy. The squelchy, drippy, oozy sound design will leave you feeling queasy.

It’s not a film that’s going to explain everything to you in a convenient exposition dump. In fact, you’re left wondering how long the town has been dealing with the ‘rotten’. Pedro’s mother sings a song which lists the rules to avoid possession, so we can assume it’s that been many years.

Character backstory is revealed slowly, but not through flashbacks or clumsy conversations.

This is not the film for you if you like the where's what's and whys to be explained, or if you like neat answers to what exactly it is that’s possessing the town and why.

Possession seems to take the form of a disease rather than a spiritual take-over, and Uriel reminded me a lot of the Slow Lows from 28 Years Later.

Fun fact: Uriel isn’t played by one actor, but 3; Two who operate the mechanical model that forms Uriel’s body, and then voiced by the third.

Content warning: eating a baby like it’s a KFC bargain bucket, axing your own face, coughing up a large clump of blood and hair….you know what? This whole thing is just 90-odd minutes of hide-behind-the-cushion, stomach-churning, gakky fuckery.

Final verdict: the dog dies.

When Evil Lurks is a Shudder exclusive. You can probably get a free trial if you fancy checking out any of the Shudder films on the list, or get a subscription for £5 a month.

31 Days of Horror # 9 The Silence of the Lambs (1991, Jonathan Demme)

 The Silence of the Lambs (1991, Jonathan Demme)

‘No, you ate yours,’

FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) is sent to interview Dr Hannibal ‘the cannibal’ Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) as part of the on-going hunt for serial killer ‘Buffalo Bill’ under the guise of Lecter’s participation in a survey. Lecter quickly susses out the ploy, but gives Clarice a cryptic clue, even though he thinks she looks like a rube with her good bag and cheap shoes.

When Catherine Martin, (Brooke Smith) the daughter of a senator, is abducted by Buffalo Bill, Clarice must tell Hannibal her secrets in exchange for information on Bill’s identity.

Content warnings: spunk-slinging, DIY face-lift, childhood trauma, head-in-a-jar, bugs, ‘would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.’

Final verdict: Don’t make me hurt your dog, mister.

31 Days of Horror # 8 Jaws (1975, Steven Spielberg)

 'Here comes Jaws. Jaws the shark. Mind he doesn’t bite you with his enormous jaws,' (Jeremy, Peep Show)

Billed as a thriller, in my opinion Jaws sits firmly in the on the horror shelf in my movie library, and I will fight anyone that argues that it’s not a horror.

Let’s look at the evidence; we have a small town terrorised by a relentless monster, an out-of-his depth police chief, and scantily clad teens meeting gruesome ends.

We all know the story; a beachside town at the peak of tourist season has found its waters host to a hungry shark. Chief Brody (Roy Schneider who I did, and still do have a huge crush on), marine biologist Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) and professional shark hunter Quint (Robert Shaw) set out on a flimsy boat to catch the great white that’s been making human sushi out of locals and tourists.

It’s funny, gripping, gruesome and enduring – it still has the power to scare a new generation of viewers out of swimming in the sea. The iconic theme tune is up there in the Collective consciousness as much as the one from Psycho is. You may not have seen the film, but you know where that music is from.

It’s a once a year watch for me. Stone cold classic.

Fun fact: The famous line is often misquoted - ‘we’re gonna need a bigger boat’ is actually ‘you’re gonna need a bigger boat’.

Content warnings: mechanical shark, floating heads, flares, people that are supposed to be forty but look about 75.

Final verdict: Here’s to swimmin' with bow-legged wimmin.

Jaws is currently streaming on Netflix.

31 Days of Horror # 7 The Sixth Sense (1999, M Night Shyamalan)

‘They scare me too.’

Nine-year-old Cole Sear (we ‘see’ what you did there, M! – Haley Joel Osment) is a troubled little boy who has no friends and walks around wearing his absent father’s things. His mother Lynn (Toni Collette putting in stellar performance as usual) is doing her best to keep things together, but she’s struggling to cope with Cole’s secretive and sometimes frustrating behaviour.

Cue Dr Malcolm Crowe, a child pyschologist with problems of his own. His wife Anna (Olivia Williams) seems to have stopped talking to him and is flirting with her handsome colleague.

Malcolm wants to help Cole, but maybe it’s really him that needs Cole’s help?

Twenty-six years on it’s still fun to watch this film and pick up on the visual clues that hint at the ‘didn’t see it coming’ twist ending. Why does Malcolm always wear the same clothes? Why does Lynn never speak to him? Why is Anna ignoring him? Did you spot the red church door, Anna’s red shawl, the door-handle to the basement in the Crowe’s home?

In an alternate casting universe, Michael Cera (Juno, This is the End, Superbad) would have played Cole. However, he had prepared for the audition by only reading the scene where Malcolm does the coin magic trick, assumed it was a comedy, and played Cole as happy and carefree.

Haley Joel Osment read the entire script and understood the assignment, turning up to the audition in a suit and playing Cole as an anxiety-ridden little kid with the weight of the world on his shoulders. There’s some performances where you can see the acting. This isn’t one of them. In fact all the cast (aside from M Night inserting himself in a cameo as a paediatrician) are great.

Toni Collette ‘styled’ Lynn herself, with a bright red wig, clicky nails and cheap clothes. And she’s totally believable as a frazzled working mum trying to make ends meet and look after her son.

Though often parodied and imitated, The Sixth Sense still packs an emotional gut punch. A firm Autumn favourite to see in spooky season.

Content warning: injury, infanticide, self-harm, ‘I’ll show you where my dad keeps his gun’

Final verdict: You’ve had enough roast beef, you need to leave the table.

Streaming now on Amazon Prime, Disney + and the Sky Store.

31 Days of Horror # 6 Event Horizon (1997, Paul Anderson)

‘Where we’re going, we won’t need eyes.’

It’s 2047 and the Lewis and Clark rescue vessel is dispatched to the Event Horizon, a starship that disappeared in orbit around Neptune. On board are Captain Miller (Laurence Fishburne) and crew D.J (Jason Issacs) Peters (Kathleen Quinlan) Smith (Sean Pertwee) Starck (Jolie Richardson) Cooper (Richard T Jones) and Justin (Jack Noseworthy) Joining them on the mission is the Event Horizon’s designer, Weir (Sam Neill).

Once on board on the Event Horizon, it becomes clear that something terrible happened to its crew. The Lewis and Clark team seem to be heading for the same fate, each member experiencing their own personal hell. Weir sees his dead wife, Peters the son she feels guilty for leaving behind, Miller a colleague that he left to die on a previous mission.

Is Weir as fish-out-of-water as he seems? Why is he so determined to defend the Event Horizon?

Sometimes described as ‘The Shining in space’, the film flopped at the box office. Much of the original script was edited out and following test screenings, scenes that provided context to Weir’s motivations and what exactly is haunting the Event Horizon were cut.

And...it’s not a great film. The script is awful. Here’s an example (I paraphrase)

Miller (to Starck): tell me something!

Stacrk: (begins to tell Miller her theory)

Miller: I don’t have time for this!

Starck: it’s sort of important

Miller: Go on then

Starck: (begins to explain theory again)

Miller: What are you on about? Give me FACTS!

It’s also pretty boring, and repetitive. The editing is bad, so it’s hard to tell what’s going on when. Lack of character background means that you don’t really care what happens to any of the crew. The only character I actually cared about was Cooper, because he provides the comic relief and almost dies multiple times despite being absent for most of the run-time.

Despite the lukewarm reception on release, the film garnered a cult following in the subsequent years. In 2024, Vanity Fair put Event Horizon as the 94^th best horror film of all time.

Event Horizon wouldn’t make it into my Top 10, or probably even my Top 20. But I still have a grudging affection for it. It’s ambitious, and gory, and sometimes funny (both intentionally and unintentionally). The set design of the ship is seriously impressive, from the spinning black hole, (the ‘core’ of the vessel), to the ‘meat grinder’ tunnel. Possessed Weir’s make-up is iconic. You can tell that director Paul Anderson was going for so much more than a sci-fi slasher. I believe that it’s worth a watch to decide for yourself if it’s a classic or a clunker.

Content warning: suicide, exploding eyes, topless Sam Neill (may cause intense thigh rubbing).

Final verdict: I liked the bit in space.

You can stream Event Horizon on Paramount +, Youtube, Now TV, Amazon Prime video. Google Play, Apple TV and the Sky Store. Or if I know you personally, you can rent the DVD from me for £3.00 a night. What do you mean, ‘who has a DVD player these days?’?!

31 Days of Horror # 5 The Surrender (2025, Julia Max)

‘They don’t let just anyone become a yoga instructor!’

Megan (Colby Minifie, who looks like a mix of Elisabeth Moss, Andrea Riseborough and Lauren Ambrose) returns to the family home to help her mother Barbara (Kate Burton)care for her dying father, Robert (Vaughn Armstrong) For once the house is quite nice and not a horribly depressing ice-cube of a home. (see: The Possession, Sisters).

Dad lays in bed screaming ‘Barbara!’ and he sounds a bit like when Chandler from Friends pretended to be Santa Claus.

Dad dies in the night and Megan learns that Barbara has hired a witch doctor (Neil Sandilands) to resurrect her dead husband. Megan is unwittingly part of the ritual which involves burning all of dad’s precious things and chopping fingers off. The ritual goes horribly wrong thanks to Megan hanging on to a photo of her and her dad.

While there’s some genuinely creepy moments like luminous eyes appearing in the dark and the witch doctor’s body being prised open at the spine from inside but who I assume are Robert’s hands, and there’s scenes that seem to have been stolen from other films (Vivarium, Hereditary) the script isn’t strong enough for us to root for Megan or Barbara. Megan spends a lot of time screaming, ‘Mum! Mum, nooooo!’ which gets really irritating after a while.

Final verdict: it’s basically the Monkey’s Paw. If resurrection is your thing, you might be better off reading Monstrillio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova, which does it with so much more depth (and scares).

Content warning: MUUUUUMMMM!!

31 Days of Horror # 4 The Rule of Jenny Penn (2024, James Ashcroft)

 ‘All anyone remembers is the giant pink dildo!’

After suffering a stroke during a court hearing , elderly judge Stefan Mortensen (Geoffrey Rush) recouperates in a residential care home. However fellow resident Dave Crealey (John Lithgow) seems determined to make his life a misery. From gas-lighting to physical and verbal torture, Dave’s bullying seems to go unnoticed by everyone apart from Stefan and his ex-rugby player roommate Tony (George Henare) who seems to bear the brunt of Dave’s vile bullying.

Under the rule of ‘Jenny Pen’, a little baby-doll puppet with weird yellow eyes, Dave exerts absolute control over the residents and unwitting staff.

Determined to stand his ground despite his declining condition, Stefan refuses to let Dave continue to get away with his reign of terror.

John Lithgow puts in a truly unsettling performance. He’s skin-crawlingly unpleasant, particularly in a scene where he torments a female dementia patient that’s desperately waiting for her family to visit her.

Content warning: sexual assault, human Flamin’ Moe, naked old man arse.

Final verdict: MASHED POTATOES!

The Rule of Jenny Penn is available to watch on Shudder.

31 Days of Horror # 3 Sisters (1972, Brian De Palma)

 ‘She’s not dead, she’s going to kill you!’

Danielle (Margot Kidder, doing a confusing French Canadian accent) is a model slash actress slash slasher living in Staten Island. A date with Lisle, (Phillip Woode) a man she meets on a game show ends in murder, (his, because as in the tradition of horror the Black guy dies first) but nosy neighbour investigative journalist Grace (Jennifer Salt) is on the case. When Grace’s overbearing mother isn’t mithering her about getting married, Grace is working hard to expose corruption and racism in the local police force. Grace also sports the most majestic 70’s hairstyle I’ve ever seen - a bouffant wolf-cut mullet of Marge Simpson beehive proportions. I’m a big fan of Grace.

It turns out that Danielle was a conjoined twin, joined with sister Dominique at the hip. AT THE HIP. During the operation to separate them, Dominique died. Grace is able to discover this via breaking and entering Danielle’s horrible cold flat (what is it with horrible cold flats in these films?) and a doctor that breaks some serious patient confidentiality laws.

Grace is also able to casually stroll into a mental health clinic because no-one in this film apart from her takes things seriously. However once she’s in there Danielle’s creepy doctor husband, Emil (William Finley) convinces the staff that Grace is a patient called Margaret and she’s promptly checked in with no questions asked...sharing a room with Danielle. Emil hypnotises Grace into believing she didn’t see Danielle murder poor Lisle whose only crime was being Black in the wrong place at the wrong time (according to the police officers that turn up following Grace’s phone call).

Emil ends up dead, and Grace, still under hypnosis, insists she saw nothing and cannot help the now interested police locate Lisle’s remains.

Sisters is an unexpectedly comedic film, largely to Larch, a PI hired by Grace to assist her in finding out exactly what happened in Danielle’s apartment. It’s not all fun, though. There’s a nightmarish black and white sequence that has a real uncanny valley feel to it and Emil is seriously sinister character.

It’s a short film that packs a lot in the 90-odd minute run-time

Content warning: referring to conjoined twins as ‘Siamese’, 70’s film blood that has the appearance and consistency of red paint. An appearance from the Annabelle / Poltergeist doll.

Final verdict: Lois Lane loses the plot.

Sisters is streaming on Shudder.

31 Days of Horror # 2 Incantation (2022)

 After recovering from a breakdown, Li Ronan (Tsai Hsuan-yen) regains custody of her six-year old daughter, Dodo (Huang Sin-ting) However, there’s something wrong with their new apartment, something wrong with Dodo and something very wrong with Ronan.

Did Ronan unwittingly curse her unborn daughter while making a film for her ghostbusting YouTube channel? The curse seems to not only be following Ronan and Dodo, but also Dodo’s foster family and Ronan’s sometime boyfriend and fellow film-maker. In fact, anyone that crosses paths with Ronan and Dodo meet a grisly end and Ronan is running out of time to save her daughter.

Are you up for some audience participation to help Ronan break the curse?

Content warning: bugs crawling out of holes in skin – not one for those who are afflicted with trypophobia. There’s also a Hereditary head / desk interface moment which seems to go on forever.

Final verdict: That tunnel’s blocked off for a reason.

Incantation is currently streaming on Netflix

31 Days of Horror # 1 Possession (1981)

‘Does our subject still wear pink socks?’

Mark (Sam Neill) and Anna’s (Isabelle Adjani) marriage is collapsing. Anna is having an affair with cartoonishly Alpha male Heinrich and wants a divorce. Their young son Bob is often ignored and neglected in their cold, soulless Berlin flat as his parents lose themselves in their individual sorrows.

Arguments between Mark and Anna descend into ear-splitting screaming matches, physical violence and self-harm. While Mark loses his mind in a three-week long bender and gets off with Bob’s Anna-lookalike teacher, Helen, Anna is Frankenstein-ing herself his Doppelganger from a hideous cthulhu-type monster in a grimy, ancient apartment on a street surrounded by shuttered-up shops.

In what is probably the most famous scene, Anna miscarries in a subway station tunnel, screaming, howling, yelping, and unnaturally contorting her body until she falls to the floor and expels white goo and blood from every orifice.

After Mark and Anna kill each other, Bob is ‘adopted’ by Helen and Doppelganger Mark, and drowns himself in the bath, saving his Unparents a fortune in future therapy bills and keeping up the tradition of Sam Neill’s movie kids dying in horrible ways (see: Dead Calm).

Both the lead’s performances are absolutely unhinged. The acting style is deliberately scenery-chewing, over the top and exhausting.

It’s a brutal, grotesque, disturbing film. Those who want a tightly plotted story with nicely tied up ends will be sorely disappointed. Those who like films that have a nightmarish logic and make you think, ‘what the fuck did I just watch?’ will love it. It’s actually also quite funny, despite it’s awfulness.

It’s probably not a good idea to watch it if you’re going through a break-up, or have been recently dumped, though.

Content warning: child neglect, domestic violence, self-harm, sex with an octopus/man hybrid, Sam Neill’s bare bunda (may cause lustful thoughts).

Final verdict: It’s not enough sitting there, rocking in your rocking chair.